Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for December 09, 2015

Transcript:

Richard's Poor Almanac Protesters Agreed Santa's Arrival by Richard Thompson an estimated 500 protesters, some throwing tinsel, greeted Santa Claus as he arrived here today to launch the holiday season at a reception for toy company executives sponsored by Jolly Tot Playthings, a subsidiary of Halliburton. Claus was hustled through the angry crowd by bodyguards after emerging from a bright red Humvee. Capitalist toy mongering fat cat Go back to the North Pole Greed enabler Barbie pimp Ho ho ho! Spokeself Tinky de Frost called the demonstrators thoroughly naughty and not nice and warned of lumps of coal for everyone. He was slightly injured when a giant puppet shaped like Ken fell on him. Several local children expressed the opinion that the Santa was a big fake, pointing out the real Santa had been at the mall since early November. Barbie Pimp Agh! I talked to Santa 3 weeks ago & here are the photos to prove it! I want a giant puppet for Christmas. But shaped like a killer robot alien T. Rex.