Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for October 07, 2016
Transcript:
spring vermin a brief guide rat: everyone would love me if my tail was fuzzy. rats as big as cats range- there's one under your chair description- large & rat-like those damn hoppy bugs that always jump right at you range- your basement. description- too horrifying to behold. little drop-kick sweater dogs range- the end of some old lady's leash. description- some of them wear little matching hats, too. (the dogs.) frogs with extra legs range- all-you-can-eat french restaurants. description- tastes just like mutated chicken. canadian romping sloths free-ranging. description- a nice change from the common inert sloth until a herd of them move through & flatten your azaleas.
There was a bit of a digression in a magazine article I read 25 years ago. The author was walking down the street on a sweltering hot day, and in a car (with the windows closed), a Mexican Hairless (or maybe a chihuahua) was barking at him like it had gone nuts—barking so hard it would fall off the seat and get up again, still barking its head off.
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He was curious, and decided to stand there a while and see if it would pass out. After a minute or two more (yap yap yap yap yap), another passer-by apparently guessed what he was up to. “Mister, that dog is never going to pass out. His species was bred in a hotter climate than this one. He can keep that up all day.”
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The author stood there a few seconds more, then went on his way. The next time he passed by the car, some time later, the dog was still barking away.