Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for March 30, 2017
March 29, 2017
March 31, 2017
Transcript:
restaurant closings the following establishments have been closed for health code violations. moe's fresh fruit stand - produced badly damaged in collision during zany high-speed car chase starring jackie chan. o'bleary's irish pub o'bleary's irish pub - featured band keeps playing that damn unicorn song. futurismo futurismo cyber cafe - soylent green found to contain tofu, not people. p.j. piehole's family place p.j. piehole's family place - meat & vegetable courses offered on children's menu allowed to touch each other. kid: aagh filibuster inn of capitol hill filibuster inn of capitol hill - new "dubya special" (pb&j on wonder bread) sickens over 20 diners with peanut allergies. starbucks coffee starbucks coffee starbucks inside another starbucks - broke law of physics stating that two objects cannot occupy the same space simultaneously.
P.J. Piehole’s can’t close just for one little, insignificant infraction! It’s how I eat. Skoosh the corn into the mashed potatoes and shove a chunk of pork chop onto the fork with your buttered bun. Chew, swallow, repeat. It’s like Heaven on a fork! Just make sure everything comes out even!