Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for December 08, 2017
December 07, 2017
December 11, 2017
Transcript:
annual handy candy halloween treat giving guide pikachu: i'm a pokemon! how trite! he gets a circus peanut. knock-off: i'm a harry potter knock-off! that's more like it! give him some genetically-engineered candy corn. goiter: i'm a big goiter! give her some quinine. ghost: i'm a ghost! unimaginative and hazardous. give him one pez, tops. child: i'm at at-risk child of divorce, poor child-care & slack school standards whose self-destruc-tive impulses lead me to dangerous costume choices. scary! give him some ritalin.
Bah, humbug! Leave the lights off, the curtain drawn, the door locked, and eat all the candy yourself!