Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for June 28, 2018
Transcript:
richard's poor almanac by richard thompson tips for tourists first time in dc? clip this out & refer to it often. stand to the right on all metro escalators. british subjects stand to the left. families/groups of 6 or more must wear match-ing hats at all times. man: it's showtime! ha ha! if you spot smithsonian secretary lawrence small, don't call him "larry the cable huy." he hates it. impeding pedestrians for photographic purposes in excess of 5 seconds is a criminal offense. no sitting on the bollards. and jersey walls aren't some kind of picnic table. vivid-colored clothes worn in conjunction with flip-flops will make squirrels "swarm."
Gee, what did tourists ever do to you, Richard? They are just the ordinary little people from other areas. Sure, they have foibles, and yeah I hate photographers who think they own the sidewalks, and…
No tourists allowed! Go home!