Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for July 02, 2018
Transcript:
richard's poor almanac what's new at rock creek park by richard thompson new! snakehead fish pond. dynamiting encouraged! md. d.c. -key- parkland not parkland feral safeway cart planetarium updated to reflect current theory that the earth revolves around the sun! beach drive renamed "glebe road north" to scare away maryland commuters! peirce mill moved 4 inches to the left! forty year build up of petrified chewing gum removed from all nature center drinking fountains! new! 24-hour drive-through panda viewing! cars $2, tour busses $25. national zoolo par new! scenic hairpins now 30% twistier to further deter commuters! descending colon potomac to doonesbury
Attention, Park Visitors! Be advised: beware the pack of feral Safeway carts!