Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for February 19, 2019

Transcript:

richard's poor almanack catalogs to come if they're not here already by richard thompson complications holiday 2007 introducing the scalpmaster see page 632 complications over 800 pages of clothing, shoes, acces-sories, kitchenware & household items, all tricked out with unnecessary features designed to burden the user with super-fluous information. new this year - the scalpmaster 5000, a hairbrush with digital follicle evaluation, scalp-mapping & hair loss calculator. and, at random intervals, a little bell rings. the stymied child toy for very special children christmas 2007 the stymied child do you know a grabby, impatient little boy or girl who needs a lesson in self-control? for him - a nascar transmorphobot sealed in an impregnable kevlar bubble pack. for her - a barbie montana bratz packed in 12 layers of cardboard and immobilized with over 30 miles of piano wire! ha! watch 'em struggle to open those on christmas morning! gift wrapping available. candidate & nominee 2007 candidate & nominee is there a hard-to-buy-for presidential candidate on your list? well, don't be stumped for a gift! everything the aspiring president could want - breath mints, non-oily hand cream/hair gel, inflatable debate - buddies, pencils with his or her name on them. orders placed before december 15th will receive 3 free delegates!