Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for January 07, 2020
Transcript:
some advice for the academy it's oscar time! but what if some pushy winner won't shut up? actor: i'd like to thank my agent & my mother & my sommelier & l. ron hubbard & my cats - what th - a rolling blackout might slow him down. actor: & my producer & my feng shuist & my rolodex & hey! i'm not finished! blamo try an exploding oscar with a 2 minute fuse. res hollywood! actor: & my personal trainer & my geneticist & no! no! get them away from me! a dispirited group of oscar winners from years past who've slipped back into obscurity could be herded onstage. actor: & i'd like to thank god for believing in me! god: oh, yeah? an act of god. when approached, he said he'd love to help, but only with best picture, maybe best director.
Just cancel the ceremony, or at least don’t watch it on TV. Let the Hollywoodheads talk amongst themselves….