Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for March 14, 2020

Transcript:

civil war equine statue code explained. everyone knows that the many statues of civil war generals around d.c. are subtly encoded to indicate the fate of the subject. herewith a brief guide. sword drawn, horse rearing - died in battle with full attendant glory henry moore-ish abstraction - fragged by cannon-ball. mounted on moose - went awol to canada. mounted on comfy chair - retired from ilitary to consul for lucrative muni-tions industry. dismounted in drunken stupor - retired from military to become 18th president. hidden in barrel - found army life uncongenial. quit to become a rodeo clown.