Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for May 21, 2021
Transcript:
richard's poor almanac december calendar by richard thompson 2 guy: hey! great! today millions of americans discover that they never did take down their xmas lights last year. 5 the 215th anniversary of mozart's death. observances in-clude concerts, recitals & poop jokes in the original german. 8 an errant snow-flake is sighted over i-270, caus-ing instant grid-lock throughtout the dc area. 17 the largest christmas sweater ever attempted, a 200 lb. cable-knit behemoth with hundreds of ornaments, garlands, bells, lights & ribbons & an animated nativity scene, is worn by ella boggs of dc. 24 all day tbs shows "a christmas carol" and "a christmas story" simultaneously, so it looks like scrooge is ralphie's old man. 26 everyone relaxes, confident they won't hear "little drummer boy" for another whole year. 27 fox-tv cancels its holiday special. "a very kramer kwanzaa." 30 finally, the last present is removed from its plastic clamshell package. okay, maybe not.
There are no German poop jokes. At least not funny ones. Scheisse!