Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for June 09, 2023
Transcript:
new used gibbous bilious sullen boorish march skywatch virago spot lacto the milk carton booties teleprompter the big zigzag pudding cup speculum rictus garythe cvs assistant manager jellomold hello stargazers! well, this month the night sky is a mess, an incoherent mishmash of second-rate constellations. frankly, i've done dot-to-dots on bennigan's kid's menus that were more compelling. also, the planets are all clumped up in one corner, including some that don't even belong in our solar system. this seems unnecessary, wasteful even, and is best ignored. oop: "chapter one - the infomercial" finally, the annual "insipid" meteor shower, promises fitful glimpses of random flaming space lint. why bother? go watch tv, or work on your novel, or both.
Planets clumped up in one corner is odd enough for people to get excited about it. I don’t think anything will beat Venus sitting right on the top point of a crescent moon.
You are welcome to your own constellation names. The Big Dipper is Ursa Major ( big bear ) and is also The Chariot and I believe The Plow. Depends on who and when you ask.