Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for June 19, 2023
Transcript:
spring planting guide to unpleasant blooms flowers: hey! where's that water? you just going to stand there? c'mon c'mon! is there someone else i could talk to? impatience - an extremely irritating bloom. put it in a pot & throw it away. stalking petunia - persistently annoy-ing. may require a restraining order. "tank-killer" tea rose - hybrid developed by u.s. army for use in desert storm. mr green thumb necrotizing fuchsia - not recommended for yards with pets or small children. terrier: arh! arh! arh! oop: down! scrofulous terrier plant - sheds all year, smells bad & will try to scratch itself.
Gee, who’d have thought that the simple, innocent little Tea Rose could have been transformed into such a fearsome defensive weapon?