Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for August 21, 2023
Transcript:
summer weeding guide boorish ivy - if ignored will quickly grow into the shape of unwanted lawn objects (flamingo, chevy up on blocks, any large abandoned appliance). especially unnerving for those under autocratic neighborhood associations. dandelion 1: tie his shoelaces, together. dandelion 2: pure evil! dandelion.org - densely intertwined root system creates a sentient hive-mind prone to acts of petty maliciousness. sphincterwort - (methanium) an en-tirely unnecessary evolutionary devel-opment. too nasty to even draw. touchyweed - oversensitive to the needs of rootbound americans. runs screaming to the aclu when pulled up. rakeseed - step on it and the stalk flies up and hits you in the face! nature at its most playful! farmer: owch.
The last one is Sideshow Bob’s favorite. ☺