Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for December 20, 2023
Transcript:
richard's poor almanac - by richard thompson catalog alert! these will appear in your mailbox really soon. extraordinary giftables extraordinary giftables the folks at e.g. have searched the world over for interesting & unusual gifts. but all they found were a lot of unsavory, hard-to-identify objects, most of them grotesque, some outright revolting. for example, item e on page 12 sure looks like one of those kid-neys stolen from an unsuspecting tourist you read about in the tabloids. but at only $14.95 a kidney, hey, it's a bargain! emowares emowares winter 2006 this collection features designer housewares so poignant they're sure to appeal to the younger demographic with fash-ionably melancholic sensibilties! just look at that toaster on the cover - it's an appli-ance of such heartbreaking pathos that you'll feel like a soulless monster if you don't order at least one. metro & rider metro & rider a d.c. area exclusive! offers a wide variety of metrorail souvenirs, spare parts & accesso-ries, including authen-tic metro escalator treads! give one as a gift! or give an en-tire set, allowing the recipient to construct his or her very own authentic intermittent-ly operating metro escalator! (sorry, gift wrapping is not available on entire sets.)
Back when I lived in the area, I fortunately didn’t have to use it very often. I seriously embarrassed myself a couple times by stupidly assuming it would run on time.