Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for May 13, 2024
May 10, 2024
May 15, 2024
Transcript:
april is national poetry month! here's a famous poem condensed! beowulf in under 90 seconds king: damn. click the monster grendel is ravaging the country, devouring likewise warriors, maidens, mer-chants & passersby, effectively slowing the flow of tourist dollars to a thin trickle, much to the consternation of king hrothgar. whap whap comes the hero beowulf, who slays the monster grendel by pulling his (grendel's) arm clean off & slapping him with it fiercely about the head. beowulf: freeze! beowulf next deals with the monster grendel's mother in a bloody & protracted battle with much potential for cinematic spectacle given the right director (john woo?) & a sufficient budget. the grateful king hrothgar now gives beowulf the hand of his beloved daughter. princess wideload. beowulf opens a hero-themed restaurant where they slaughter the oxen right at your table.
Pharmakeus Ubik 7 months ago
That’s just how I remember it.
ElwoodP 7 months ago
I think that pretty-well sums it up…AND there are so many theme restaurants to support this conjecture.
stamps 7 months ago
I think Grendel’s mother looks a bit like Big Shirley.
Vince M 7 months ago
Beowulf: “Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!”
Petemejia77 7 months ago
Restaurant should be called “Beo-Wolf-Down!”