Rip Haywire by Dan Thompson for June 05, 2016
Transcript:
Narrator: Breezy and TNT search for clues in a mysterious murder! Breezy: I know we saw a body here, TNT. But where did it go? TNT: Wait, do you hear that? Breezy: Look down there! Gee, mister, you picked a terrible place to break what looks like every bone in your body! Man: What's worse, I missed the last episode of "Downton Abbey"! What happened with Bates? Rip Haywire: Breezy, where are you? Spur has been holding dinner for hours and is starting to get cranky! Spur: She better be in danger! There's nothing worse than ice-cold wild wings. Voice 1: Listen up, Beardy! What the heck were you doing pulling a "127 hours in that Canyon? Voice 2: He tried to kill me! Rip Haywire: Can you tell us anything about your attacker? Man: He has a sharp knife and likes to stab stranglers! That's all I've got! If it wasn't for my smokin' hot knight-ess in shining armor, I'd be a coyote breakfast burrito! Breezy: Tee-hee Spur: Watch it, Boy, she's always liked strays... which explains you. Rip Haywire: Quiet! Or I'll yank your mustache off from the inside. I don't like Breezy cozying up to this injured, handsome stranger. Something smells funny, and it's not just his cologne! Spur: A good Sheriff is only jealous of one thing, boy, Wyatt Earp's whiskers!
It’s the great dialog that really makes an action strip as enjoyable as a Howard Hawks pic. Don’t start me quoting.