Rip Haywire by Dan Thompson for November 06, 2016

Transcript:

Man 1: The attractive mercenaries and our boss drove off the cliff! Man 2: Now, it's our turn to run this island! I can't wait to allow Walmart to build a store here! Tahiti Jones: Whew! Good things I shelled out extra for the "Clifftop-plummet-stregnth" air bags in this thing! Kiwi, darling, I'm ok. You can stop worrying about me. Rip Haywire: Seriously, kid, try OkCupid or something! Anything but Tahiti Jones! Tahiti Jones: Haywire! We're sinking! Can I use your head as a flotation device? Rip Haywire: Quiet, Tahiti! I'll get us out of here, just stop splitting into two people! Rip Haywire: Kiwi, are you alright? Kiwi: I'm ok, Mr. Haywire. Rip Haywire: Cobra's out cold! When the water rises, we'll open the windows and swim out. Tahiti Jones: But the windows are automatic! Rip Haywire: Oh, please, Tahiti, I've been smashing open windows while underwater since I was 5. Relax!