Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for May 16, 2020

… But, for the turkeys, it may be too late by that time.

can hardly imagine a turkey on that kind of toilet

Stanford research has certainly gone to the …

I think if I’m ever at Stanford and need to go, I’ll just hold it til I get to Burlingame. Not gonna leave no prints.

That toilet must really be put to the test after Taco Tuesday….

That toilet eye? One more government effort to spy on on the citizenry.

Hiccups? I’ve had multiple folk remedies work exactly once. When I try them a second time, they don’t work. I’m sure there’s some placebo/panacea thing going there.

This has been my personal experience with…

Hold your breath as long as you can.

Swallow a teaspoon of granulated sugar, dry, without letting it melt in your mouth. And don’t inhale any of the sugar !

Take nine sips of water, rapid succession, while holding your breath.

Whistle “Yankee Doodle” while wearing a saucepan on your head. [OK, I just made that one up.]

But my favorite one…

When I was maybe ten years old, I had a long siege of the hiccups. I’m reading a book. My Dad is reading the newspaper. Without looking up from his paper, he says to me, “Mrs. W [our neighbor] told me she saw you this morning drive that nail into her tire.” Me, startled: “WHAT ?!?!” Him: “How are your hiccups now?”They were gone.

Here’s a hint to pick up

To cure the dratted hiccup

Stand on your head

Severely frown

Note the dreaded hic-down.

When a nice old lady tried to scare my hiccups away, I nearly had a heart attack.

Now bidets have IP addresses. Though no drivers for W10.

I’ve heard of some criminals sanding off their fingerprints. Now they have to go an extra step.

Imagine being reminded every time you poop, you’ve got cancer, you’ve got cancer, you’ve got cancer. No sh*t, No sh*t, No sh*t.

Stanford aye……our tax dollars at work…….

You mean it can ass-ess your health?

Anal print. One more thing that’ll end up in a Chinese govt. database.

A spoonful of peanut butter takes care of hiccups every time.

Toilet: “Your a$$ is sick.”

The last of our private places… gone… :D

Same as humans. Take care and gesundheit.

…I will never need to put my dumba*s on a smart toilet…

…because I have my phone…

…I was watching Top Gun…

…the next thing that pops up is 25 things you didn’t know about Top Gun…

…now, I keep getting things about an enlarged prostate…

…does my phone know something I don’t?…

great….now i want to follow turkeys around

Is that a probe I see inside thetoilet?

Here’s a possible “crack” from the Smart Toilet:

“Smile, you’re on the can’s camera!” ☺

I certainly hope there are other methods for turkeys to identify the opposite sex than checking out poop.

Stanford must have gotten the idea from dogs.

Do male and female taste the same? Even with dressing and cranberry sauce???

Now there’s a novel identification tool; it would be fun to watch the cops taking anal prints…

Stanford’s invention will go down in the anals of history.

……wait, a turkey’s GENDER? If the term “cisgender turkey” becomes a thing, then there is no more hope for society.

There seems to be quite an obsession with poop lately. Perhaps someone might need counciling.

The Smart Toilet reminds me of Scrubs…. Dr. Toilet.

Does a hen’s poop resemble the chocolate soft-serve ice cream that is on a cone? LOL! XD!

Lotta sh*t going down in today’s feature…