Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for February 10, 2022

From time to time, I’m kiddingly chided by one fellow comics fan or another for posting an OLD joke (i.e., one he’s heard before). If you’ve read much of what I’ve posted, you know I maintain there are no new jokes; just new audiences (and new situations – I recently heard a Joe Biden & Jill joke that I think was first told about George and Martha. So what?). So for those of you who’ve heard the joke I’m about to post, well, you’re about to hear it again. And for those of you who have never heard it…

HERE IS A BRAND-NEW JOKE!!!A train is just leaving the station when a young man comes running up, throws his valise inside, and jumps aboard just in time. As he stands in the doorway, huffing and puffing, trying to catch his breath, and older man who had been watching says to him, “Youngster, you’re out of shape! When I was your age, I could have run to this train and jumped aboard without breaking a sweat.”

“That may be, old man,” the youth replies. “But I’ve been chasing this train since the last station!”

Those ants produce some of the highest natural velocities of any animal on the planet. There’s been a few urban legends about how they can use those jaws to bite a human’s finger off, but the reality is a lot less gruesome:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2okI6ZszQY

those trap-jaw ants… how high can they go?

Why aren’t those trap-jaw ants competing in the Olympics?

When we’re considering high altitude stunts in New York City, do not forget Phillipe Petit, who, on the morning of August 7, 1974, stretched a 440 pound tight wire between the two towers of the World Trade Center without permission and without getting caught, and then spent 45 minutes going back and forth 8 times before coming in. It was the subject of two movies, Man on Wire (2008), a documentary, and The Walk (2015), starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Petit.

I was beginning to think no one would EVER open the box and it would get thrown away. I’ll do it differently next time.

I’ll bet those guys inspired the Jumping Jacksons, a gang of thieves from 3-2-1 Contact’s The Bloodhound Gang.

Speaking of tight rope walkers . . .

What’s the similarity between a 20 year old getting a “back rub” from an eighty year old woman and walking a tightrope?

In both cases, you really don’t want to look down.

Until next time.

Standing on top of a building in your underwear?! Like they say “Whatever floats your boat!” And look close where that one guy’s face is planted…OUCH!

What building were they on? Looks like the Empire State Building in the distance.

My ex’s jaw could suddenly launch a whole room full of people into the air.

Take care, may relied upon domestic engineer Ma “What I Say Goes And If Not You Go” Kettlord be with you, and gesundheit.

You know what they say….acrobatics always smell different to the lower Jackson.

Honestly, that box of money with the background story? I really do find that hard to believe.

HONK HONK!! Let’s Go Truckers!!!

I heard the Cuomo’s got that cash

A few years later they tried that same stunt on top of one of the eagles on the Chrysler Building. How did it turn out? Well… after that, they were The Two Jacksons.

The arrogance of Old Age:Yesterday morning I bought two six-packs of beer on sale at Publix, put‘em on the front seat of the car, and headed back home.I stopped to gas up, and a drop-dead gorgeous “almost” blonde was fillingup her car at the next pump. It was very warm and she was wearing tightshorts and a revealing light top.She glanced at the beer, bent over and knocked on my passenger window.Practically falling out of her skimpy top, she said, in a sexy voice, "I’m abig believer in barter, old fella. Would you be interested in trading sexfor beer?"I thought for a few seconds and asked, “What kind of beer ya got?”THE ARROGANCE OF OLD AGE!

No wonder nobody at the college would answer the Amazon query: “How was our delivery?”

I’m more impressed with this stunt …

https://twitter.com/marinamaral2/status/1382012158494527490

The ants have nothing on click beetles when it comes to launching themselves into the air