Rubes by Leigh Rubin for August 07, 2023

Not going to be a clean getaway

Bah. In heaven, there’s no NEED for cleaning: Ice cream never drips, you never stumble or drop something… and heck… you even come up with wonderful bon mots BEFORE it’s too late.

No dry cleaning needed…it’s drip dry.

Then he’ll have a technicolor dream coat!

You lose your hair in Heaven, too??

He could care less. As long as he doesn’t get fat

All I can eat ice cream without gaining weight would be heaven.

“This jacket is dry-clean only. Which means . . . it’s dirty.”

— Mitch Hedberg

Who cares?? Count me in!!

This isn’t heaven. The only flavor available is green tea.

https://www.tastingtable.com/901159/ranking-ice-cream-flavors-from-worst-to-best/

No dry cleaning allowance? Who cares, it’s free ice cream!!!!

Free all you can eat ice cream? And everything else?

You are just on a cruise.

Those stains will take an eternity to get out.