Shoe by Gary Brookins and Susie MacNelly for September 10, 2016

There is a whole list of things that take the fun out of flying that you can invoke before you have to mention cavity search.

In Soviet Russia you enter checkpoint. In America checkpoint enter you.

One of the many reasons I haven’t flown in years nor do I ever intend to do so again.

A friend of mine travels as a business consultant / trouble shooter and is basically in a different airport 2 – 3 times a week. To liven things up a bit he went to an adult toy shop and bought a couple pairs of textured rubber gloves. When he gets to a gate where he knows some of the TSA agents, he goes into a “gay act” mincing up to one of the agents, handing them the gloves, and lisping “Can we use these for the cavity search this time, Sweety?”

Ah, the wonderful folks at TSA keeping flying safe and fun.

I have ( inadvertently ) gone through security with a handgun in my carry on luggage and NOT been stopped – not once but twice ! But have had a small pair of nail clippers, a wine bottle opener, a bottle of shampoo, a canister of compressed air ( for cleaning camera lenses), and (almost) a bottle of expensive men’s cologne, confiscated by TSA at one time or another.

Must be a proctology joke around here someplace.

" Just flew in from Cleveland…and boy, are my arms tired ! "

( a tip of Heathcliff & Gertrude’s seagull wings to Red Skelton )

one is less expensive than the other though

Been there, done that…

In Cleveland, no less!

Flirt!

I wonder what their criteria are. I’ve never been subjected to a cavity search, nor has one ever even been hinted at. The most I’ve experienced was a pat down, and that was far from thorough.

Hey, these are birds. Better a cavity search at the airport than in a kitchen.