Speed Bump by Dave Coverly for May 11, 2018

What makes you say that?

Whatever you do, don’t throw in the towel!

There was a Padres game once that was almost record time. The opposing batters were afraid to step out of the box, because as soon as they were back in, the ball was coming at them. Later, someone asked the pitcher what was up with that. “I had concert tickets for later that night, and needed to get out of there.”

Watch out for his spitball.

All I know is the smell isn’t coming from the white sox.

He’s lucky he’s not playing in the real old days – you put 9 players on the field, and they were the only players that could be used. Managers would sometimes use extra pitchers as fielders, just in case they needed to replace the starter. Just swap fielder and pitcher and the game would continue. One man, Charles “Old Hoss” Radbourn managed to win 59 games (and 12 losses) in one season. Probably the unbreakable record, set in 1884. Unfortunately, that ruined his arm, played (poorly) for the last time in 1885. Good book on him (and the era), “Fifty-Nine in ’84”.

Why are you spending so much time in the shower? Now that I think about, I don’t want to know.

The pitcher is a lefty.

He just knows he stinks.