Ted Rall for October 17, 1998
October 15, 1998
October 19, 1998
Transcript:
Tired of eating right and regular exercise that doesn't work? So was Jason Rivers. (Man: I'm about to win my third marathon this week- but I'm still a tub of lard! It's my darn slow metabolism!) Then Jason enrolled in bloodcercize- the unique program that lets you lose weight while doing nothing! (Man 2: Using a patented process developed by Keith Richards, we use an engine to accelerate Jason's blood flow through his veins and arteries, thus speeding up his darn slow metabolism!) In just 48 hours, Jason lost an amazing 80 pounds- through the miracle of metabolic acceleration! (Man 3: Sayonara, darn slow metabolism! I live like a slovenly pig but I'm still slim and trim!) Bloodcercize: it could change your life (ask your doctor about side effects): (Man 4: I ate a whole ham for lunch! Not bad, huh?)
