Ted Rall for February 27, 1999

Transcript:

Bummed out? Having trouble getting ahead? Enroll now! It's the social mobility institute. (Man: Traditional solutions to education make you work harder and harder while paying more and more tuition. S.M.I. teaches you the only real ways to make it in America today! Let's face it: being smart isn't enough anymore. Nowadys you have to be born into the right family if you want to succeed.) (Boy: Here in our documentation falsification division, we can turn you into Bill Gates' son, or daughter, as the case may be.) (Man 2: I'm dumb as a rock- but S.M.I. showed me how to hack into Harvard's registrar database!) (Man 3: Congrats, moron cum laude!) (Man 1: Also available: dye your skin color and change your gender- it's fun and gets you financial aid to pay our fees!) (Man 4: What about hard work? It worked for me!)