Ted Rall for November 27, 1999

Transcript:

Taking a cue from recent advances in the law, an accused murderer has convinced a judge to try him as a child. (Judge: Nothing in the law prevents you from being tried as a child.) Using the mantra "kiddie crime kiddie time," 42-year-old Dan Clement argued that his long history of immaturity qualifies him for judicial leniency. (Woman: Just last year, my client yelled "nice boobies" from a car at female pedestrians. The clincher, according to experts, was that the crime's commission was incredibly childish. The result: 14 months in juvenile detention. (Judge: Anyone who buries a body in a kitty litter box is clearly not an adult under the meaning of state statutes.) (Man 2: I rule!) Now Clement is out... but juvie's made him more infantile than ever! (Man 2: Hey, counselor! Let's go play "doom" and go to my room and look at my comics! (Man 3: How sad- the system only makes criminals harder!)