Ted Rall for April 12, 2004

Transcript:

She's eerily calm. Utterly shameless. Fiscally relentless. Return of terror widow! (Woman: Ka-ching!) When she landed a two-book deal, Mariane Pearl thought her ship had come in. (Mariane: That's right-just buy some other book! You owe me! Those bastards slit my husband's throat!) It was a garbage barge. Shaking down the Wall Street Journal proved no more lucrative. (Man: If we cared about Danny, we wouldn't have posted your Jewish husband to Pakistan. I mean, think about it.) That left the cash source of last resort: The 9/11 compensation fund. (Mariane: I have needs! Put $2 million in here.) (Man 2: But Mr. Pearl didn't die on 9/11.) The resourceful widow refused to give up her quest. (Mariane: I've filed lawsuits against every victim's compensation fund in America. Why not?) In the end, of course, she went back to basics. (Man 3: I'm thinking of opening up a synagogue in Baghdad.) (Mariane: What a great idea! Let's discuss it at your place.)