Ted Rall for February 24, 2007

Transcript:

Clinton, Obama, Edwards. Democrats have an embarrassment of charismatic presidential candidates for 2008. (Man: Who do you hate less: women, blacks, or lawyers?) The crowded field will lead to expensive and divisive Democratic primaries. Meanwhile, Republicans will probably unite behind John McCain. (John McCain: If elected, I will kill gooks. I'll even kill 'em if I'm not elected.) Deep below the surface of the earth, even deeper than Dick Cheney's residence, elite liberal scientists hatch an ingenious plan. (Man 2: Why run 3 top names in '08? In 2000 and 2004 we didn't even have one! Unless-) (Man 3: Yes!!) Folding time and editing Wikipedia allows Edwards to run in 2000 and Clinton and 2004. Leaving 2008 open for Obama. (Man 4: And John Edwards, who United America after 9/11, wins a second term!) Next: some finagling. (Man 4: Former first lady Hillary Clinton, who paid off the national debt, wins a second term!) But then: (Newspaper: Wow. Obama even lost Illinois.) (Man 4: Black is hard. Black and old is impossible.) (Man 3: Quick- back to the finaglelator!)