Ted Rall for January 04, 2010
January 02, 2010
January 07, 2010
Transcript:
Santa Claus, philanthropist to generations of Children and Symbol of Fat Acceptance Movement, dies at age 1,780. Every Christmas at midnight, Mr. Claus delivered presents of all of the good children in the world. (Man: It's the green giant!) It was a generous offer- generous to a fault, and his confidants. (Man 2: Why not cut out the non-christian kids?) (Santa Claus: Good knows neither creed nor culture.) They proved prescient, on Dec. 25, 2009, in Western Mongolia: (Voice: What time?) (Man 3: Whatchu doin' in my yurt, fat white man?) (Santa Claus: Gifts! I have toys for your kids!) (Man 3: Die, pervert burglar!) (Santa Claus: But... globalization?) Declared dead at Ulan Bator General Hospital on Jan. 3, 2010, Mr Claus was buried in an unmarked grave.)
