Ted Rall for April 16, 2012
Transcript:
The talk. Man: These creatures are extremely skittish, especially at night. If you happen to encounter one, don't startle it. Move slowly. It can attack without notice. Speak slowly or not at all. Avoid wearing bright colors. Of course, the safest course of action is to avoid areas where they're known to roam. Man 2: Cops are like mountain lions? Man 1: Mountain lions who are legally authorized to strip search and finger-rape you.