Ted Rall for May 23, 2013
May 22, 2013
May 24, 2013
Transcript:
A heroci teacher is credited with saving her terrified students' lives by lying on top of them as a 200 MPH tornado hit their school. (Woman: It's not the kind of thing just anyone could do.) Indeed, it takes an exceptionally wide, dense and heavy person to successfully remain tethered to the ground during a category 5 tornado. (Woman: These kids would've died beneath a skinnier teacher.) School districts in Tornado-prone areas are planning to learn the lessons of Oklahoma. (Man: Size matters! Who cares if some skinny vegan aces the federal tests? We're looking for teachers who put way a wendy's triple and go back for more!) (Wanted: Fat french teachers, obese orchestra instructors, massive math teachers, random lardasses.) But even the hefty heroine of more has regrets. (Woman: I could have saved more. I could have eaten more. So many diets... you have no idea. If I'd just-) A message from the American restaurant association.
