I’m Fat Freddy’s CatAnd I’m mean and toughAnd I take no guffWhen I strut my stuff.I’m so orneryAnd so full of hissIf I don’t like your looksI’ll hit you with THIS!! (whirling cloud of claws)
Heeere kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty!I’m Fat Freddy’s Cat and I ain’t no kitty.
Heeere kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty!Don’t embarrass me in the middle of the city!
Heeere kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty!I can make it rough on you if you’re gonna act s#1tty.
I’ll track your records up with my pawsAnd I’ll pop your waterbed with my clawsI’ll shed more fur every time you sweepAnd I’ll sit on your face when you’re asleep.I’ll s#1t in your shoe and I’ll pee in your hatAnd I’ll spray the whole house with ‘essence of cat.’
If you see me comingBetter step asideA lot of cats wouldn’tAnd a lot of cats couldn’tHand a lickin’ to a chickenOr a razzing to a ratAfter they finished messing aroundWith Fat Freddy’s Cat!
I’m Fat Freddy’s CatAnd I’m mean and toughAnd I take no guffWhen I strut my stuff.I’m so orneryAnd so full of hissIf I don’t like your looksI’ll hit you with THIS!! (whirling cloud of claws)
Heeere kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty!I’m Fat Freddy’s Cat and I ain’t no kitty.
Heeere kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty!Don’t embarrass me in the middle of the city!
Heeere kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty!I can make it rough on you if you’re gonna act s#1tty.
I’ll track your records up with my pawsAnd I’ll pop your waterbed with my clawsI’ll shed more fur every time you sweepAnd I’ll sit on your face when you’re asleep.I’ll s#1t in your shoe and I’ll pee in your hatAnd I’ll spray the whole house with ‘essence of cat.’
If you see me comingBetter step asideA lot of cats wouldn’tAnd a lot of cats couldn’tHand a lickin’ to a chickenOr a razzing to a ratAfter they finished messing aroundWith Fat Freddy’s Cat!
— Gilbert Shelton