That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for June 24, 2021

“They leave me on this island because my wounded foot stinks. But none of them ever say anything about Achilles’s flatulence.”

Shipwrecked for months with no companions or amusements, he found that if he positioned his hand just right it looked like he was holding up the moon.

“Damn, I forgot to bring a phone charger.”

“Okay, you win. I thought that by selling the condo and moving to this cave you’d lose track of me. But I was wrong. Enough already. You’ve won. I’ll refinance the cave, but you have to promise to stop sending those mindless notices in the mail!”

Each dawn as he’d exit his cave, / Ulysses fought hard to stay brave — / though wounded and wrecked, / in tatters bedecked, / and badly in need of a shave. /// “This island will not be my grave!” / he’d often maniacally rave. / “If a ship should sail by / they might spy me if I / position myself here and wave.”

The captain knew not what to do. / A shipwreck had killed all his crew. / By natives then found, / struck, captured and bound, / ‘tween pillars arcane and taboo. /// Utter terror swooped in in a blur, / which much later in dreams would recur. / To his shameful dismay / all his clothes torn away / by a nightmare of claws, fangs and fur. /// Captain castaway did not belong / on this island where Nature went wrong. / So he’d made his escape / from the gigantic ape / whom the natives had worshipped as Kong.

“Ethel! Don’t look!”

Yo, Genie. When I said beachfront property, I was thinking more along the lines of Monte Carlo.

“Wilson……I’m over here!”

he’s practicing hamlet’s soliloquy, but i’m really curious where the spotlight is coming from…

Thor visits his Greek cousins.

It’s a laughable situation/ a mere miscommunication/ but what are the odds/ I’m misheard by the gods ?“I said “privacy”, not “privation”..

The man is an obvious martyr/ to that idiot Jean Paul Sartre/ for who but a creep’ll/ say “Hell’s other people!”/ When you’re solo, EVERYTHING’s harder !

Zeus: “OK. One lightning bolt coming up.”

What’s with that pose? is he trying to reenact Flashdance? He must be a theater major – it would certainly explain why he’s living in a cave in a ‘low rent’ neighborhood.

“Naked and Afraid” – celebrity episode ! (Tonight:Ulysses)

Joe leaned to one side to let another one rip. He didn’t think it was fair that whenever he made his world famous bean and cabbage stew, his wife sent him to live in a cave for the next 48 hours.

The beauty of telecommuting – you can work anywhere, even in the middle of nature. And you don’t have to put on pants.

why don’t you beer me up, buttercup baby . . .

It isn’t the stench of your wound/ to that we’ve all grown “immuned”/ it’s your putrescent puns/ and your limerick runs/ that’s the reason you’re being marooned. (Guilty !)

I cave, I wasn’t meant to be alone…

I’m wondering? Did they have beer in those days?

“Stelllaa.”

" Beam me up, Scotty…"

“Beer? Feh! Beer is for barbaroi. How about a nice glass retsina?”

Zeus: “Quit flashing your junk and maybe I’ll think about it.”

Fire Island – The Early Years

Philoctetes wounded on the island of Lemnos: 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Remond_Philoct%C3%A8te_mus%C3%A9e_des_Augustins.jpg 

(best viewed by Google Chrome, which can automatically translate most webpages as necessary) has info and links that point to more info about this painting.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (⌘- or Ctrl-) clicking the image at 

http://thatispriceless.blogspot.com/2021/06/masterpiece-2734.html 

I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s OK before appearing) pointing to the artist info I used to point to here. So far, 2 works by this artist have been used here. 

https://www.gocomics.com/that-is-priceless/2017/06/30?comments=visible 

has the prior (my comment there pointed to one of the artist info URLs also pointed to at Mr. Melcher’s blog entry).

“SORRY, THOUGHT YOU SAID, ‘BEARD ME’ THE FIRST TIME.”

@ozwaffler Also “Nah.” There’s lots of space to post/just a morsel or the roast./ You can weave away your rhymes/ or bemoan our troubling times./You can keep your verse quite classic/or evoke the beasts Jurassic./No matter your flair/ you may fill all the air/ just don’t gag my aorta thoracic!

YO! Taxi!

Why can’t I ever get one to stop for me?

He didn’t go to the island. The island came to him.

He was … the most interesting man in the world.

Wait! There was a bird in my hand a minute ago! Where did it go?

“Hey Macarena”!

He shakes his fist at the skies:/ the deities’ damns he defies !/ Though mortally bitten/ (and “immortally smitten”)/ his defiance he nonetheless cries../// Unlike the gods, every man dies/ and defying them may seem unwise/ but don’t deem him demented -/ those “gods” WE invented / in one of our numerous “tries” /// Our numerous tries to explain/(although they are often in vain)/ with effort intense/ the course of events/ when the outcome is ever so plain..///Philoctetes is living the curse/ of the human condition, perverse/ The painter portrays/ with his subtle French ways/ our place in the Universe.

Is there a podiatrist in this network?

So now I think I’ll sun my left armpit.