That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for October 15, 2021

Céline, who was just thirty-seven, / auditioned to get into heaven. / Though she bought a white gown, / and had harp playing down, / she was damned for her bastard son, Kevin.

Arthur Marx’s boyhood crush would lead to bigger things.

He taught her everything he knew.

Wayne Newton and one of his harpies! Danke Schoën

The operational definition of dyslexia is lysdexia…or maybe lexiadys…

She’s been stringing him along, the harpy!

When Sally sits down to the harp/ she always looks pretty sharp/ for Sally ain’t flat/ and her kid ain’t no brat/ and I ain’t the kind to carp !

The letters mixed-up in his head. / He saw “Harpist,” but “Therapist” read. / In time Trevor caught wise / and, to no one’s surprise, / went to visit “The Rapist” instead.

Yes, it looks weird, but the guy is paying us well to pose for him.

A young Jerry Nadler, 1805 seems accurate.

in later life junior found out that most dads didn’t play the harp in a dress…

She’s stringing him along…

Oprah Marx or Harpo Winfrey where will the coin land?

Sophie wondering why her kid brother has to photobomb her portrait, and Finn doesn’t look to happy about his parent’s request either.

Dyslexics untie!

A harpisr who harped on the harp / Had to hide himself under a tarp / For his music, I’m sad / to relate, was so bad / They went upside his head with a carp!

And I can’t think of any other full rhymes for harp.

Caledonia and Roderick perform their unique rendition of “Enter Sandman” for mother’s garden club.

Founded Harper’s Bazaar magazine.

When Celine turned thirty-eight / and arrived at that Pearly Gate/ (to be sure, prematurely)/ Peter welcomed her purely/ because of her still shapely state./// For most of the folks who arrive/ before dying, were barely alive./ Poor Pete seldom sees/ “bazongas”(lol !) like these/ and on porn has depended to thrive..

Netherlandish?

“I know what kind of man he’s going to grow up to be, so I’m just getting him used to leisure suits now.”

“I come here because I have dailysex.”

“Do you mean ‘dyslexia’?”

“I meant what I said.”

When early British rock acts began ripping off American Blues artists, they got the “harp” part very wrong.

Sally traded her brother Trevor her ballet slippers for his harp. It proved to be a good fit for both.

She’s a harpy.

Helena aspired to play the harp like Henriette Renié.

Harold dreamed of being a baseball player like Bud Harrelson but was destined to dance like Eric Hawkins.

Portrait of a Lady: 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Joseph-Denis_Odevaere_-_Portrait_of_a_Lady_-_WGA16630.jpg 

has info and links that point to more info about this painting. File history has strip coloration image.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (⌘- or Ctrl-) clicking the image at 

http://thatispriceless.blogspot.com/2021/10/masterpiece-2809.html 

I have added a comment there (already approved by Mr. Melcher) pointing to the artist info I used to point to here. So far, 2 works by this artist have been used here. 

https://www.gocomics.com/that-is-priceless/2017/05/05?comments=visible 

has the prior (my comment has the same artist info URL as the here link in my blog entry comment).

At least he isn’t seeing an Analyst/Therapist

The artist is from Southern Netherlandish?? Does that mean he’s from somewhere close to the south end of the country?

“Kaatje was very Femme, but over two meters tall. Betje was very Butch, but only a meter and a half. Yet they made the relationship work.”

The Historic Dikes of Amsterdam

Rejects from the casting call for the parts of Amy Farrah Fowler & Sheldon Cooper in the series “Young Sheldon.”

“Move that hand any closer, kid, and you’re going through this harp like an egg through a slicer.”

“I don’t care if your voice is prettier than mine. I write the songs and I play the accompaniment, and I’m keeping top billing!”

Simone and Garfunkle

Dad is paying me $10 an hour to stand here until your boyfriend goes home. Great, eh?

She knows how to pick them.

Good thing he mis-read the R for an H

Is that her agent or her attorney?

Sally “plucked” Timmy from obscurity, eventually seeing him rise to spokes-urchin for HARP, Harpists Against Rapid Pizzicato.

Her musicianship he won’t impugn, / but the kid can’t stand hearing the tune / which she plays night and noon. / If she doesn’t stop soon, / he will hurl at her harp his harpoon!

If Trevor were truly clever/ from his sister he’d swiftly sever/ the choice of his clothing/ (with fear and with loathing !)/ and would keep them apart – forever.

Those “high-water trousers” won’t fly/ (the waistline is way too high)/ A zoot suit’s the answer/ the ones with peg pants’re/the ones he s a-fix in’ to try../// He’ll be going with pink and black -/ (that combo is coming back)/ and shoes with brick toes/ (all the cool cats wear those !)/ and a string tie right off of the rack..

That bad harpist had known in advance / there existed a definite chance / that carps would be flailin’ / by Cleese or by Palin; / he was playin’ the Fish-Slapping Dance.

(This Reply to rugeirn’s Comment about a harpist whose critics “went upside his head with a carp!” is being re-posted 2 days later to test the idea someone suggested to Ish that many readers only look at comments and skip all replies.)

I was going to wear the curtains – they had caught my eye. But the maids had them in the wash; so I could only wear the sheer drapery …

“Mother … where is my sister?”

“She is out on a stroll with your father. Probably telling her some sordid story about how we first met. Let me tell you what really happened …”