That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for September 27, 2022

Draftee Dimitry didn’t realize how hard up the Russian army is until he got his equipment.

/// In his clothing, Knut has bizarre taste.

On his knees metal shin guards are placed.

Right leg’s red, left leg’s green;

a face tops his canteen,

and two coat hooks hang down from his waist.

Crossbows don’t kill knights, people do!

Benny was prepared to bath his cat.

Cedrick is modeling the very latest in combination codpiece and crossbow cocker!

He seems to be missing a couple of things.

Is this the inventor of the catheter about to show how to use it?

“Well, m’lady…… I heard you were looking for a new bow. Will this crossbow do?”

Lacking experience, Cedrick’s first purchase of a jock strap was unfortunately twelve sizes too large.

Having second thoughts when he sees the other side uses guns and trucks

O, why is the crossbowman cross ?/

Does anyone give a toss ?/

Could it be the crossbowman/

Has detected an omen -/

An omen of imminent loss ?///

What hath a crossbowman to lose ?/

It surely isn’t his shoes../

The loss may be total -/

One hopes it’s not scrotal/

That would be a brutal bruise !///

But the crossbowman feareth not/

For a cross on his shield he hath got !/

He relies upon that/

Though his feet may be flat/

And besides – he’s a da&n good shot !

That bag appears to be please, hanging from his belt there with him.

A Sad Story Of Our Times

Leo’s parents suspected trouble was brewing when their son took an unhealthy interest in Crusader clothing and weapon paraphernalia. They allowed him to keep a shield, but any sharp things were forbidden until he was eighteen. They immediately confiscated his mace when they discovered it in his gym bag.

However he took the crossbow for show-and-tell; and although he didn’t have the bolts to load it, he was suspended from school. When he attempted to ride a horse dressed in aluminum-foil armor through the gymnasium, he was expelled altogether. His parents then sent him to a strict Christian military school where, unfortunately he got in with a bad bunch. His strange obsession with the Crusades only intensified.

Leo left school and apparently gravitated from one Right-wing radical group to the next. His parents lost track of him, although they occasionally saw him behind speakers at QAnon rallies, and once or twice behind former President Trump himself. Various government agencies were by then on his trail. He should have been easy to capture, dressed as he was.

Leo was at the January 6th U.S. Capitol Riots, battling “Moslems,” but once again eluded authorities. He was finally apprehended while attending “Medieval Times” in Schaumburg, Illinois (singing “Onward, Christian Soldiers”). His trial date is in late October.

When she put on the matching coupling rings they could have amazing freestyle coupling anywhere.

Russian draftee, Rolf, didn’t realize until it was too late that they’d sent him to the Ukranian front with a dull, rusty sword, a plywood shield, a crossbow without a bowstring, and no bolts…

He never could remember which leg to put into his tights first, so he color-coded them. Then of course the shirt had to be made to match.

Off to hunt in the woods, he dressed in fall colors for camouflage.

“Anybody seen my arrow?”

A thrust of the hips and you’re hooked.

I want to see him shoot that crossbow while holding a shield. Should be hilarious.

He’s hung like a … what the heck is that anyway?

In case he doesn’t have enough added weight:

https://www.amazon.com/HemeraPhit-Pull-up-Weighted-Weightlifting-Equipment/dp/B06XR2CD11/ref=asc_df_B06XR2CD11/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=309803898133&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=15829433785379672170&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9030263&hvtargid=pla-464455119554&psc=1

If you must know, that’s where I hang my shield during battle…

Dean of the Armed Guild of Saint George: 

Paste (including the quote marks) 

"Category:Albrecht De Vriendt" site=commons.wikimedia.org

(syntax supported by the Google, Yahoo, Bing, DuckDuckgo, Ecosia, and Yandex search engines) in the browser address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and choose the first Category: found, and once there find the text string Guild, and click its link for info and links that point to more info about this roughly jumbo envelope size painting.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #3001 (September 27, 2022) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger if you trim what’s after .png from the URL). I have added a comment there pointing to the blog entry with my comment containing some artist info links. So far 4 works by him have been used here. The August 31, 2022, strip has the prior. Truer than fiction: the image of that painting is currently shown by the museum’s webpage (pointed to by References) for this painting. I’ve notified the museum.

carlos santana, ready for his reenactment date…

hope he doesn’t go off half cocked!

He’s about to get medieval on someone. https://i.pinimg.com/originals/e4/7e/d9/e47ed9de7d4e76fd3eba42bccf541e7e.jpg

For tomorrow:

The Sultan is “ hors de combat”/

He ends every evening like that../

Not just one concubine/

But as many as nine/

Before he’s removed his hat !///

He has hundreds- he often forgets/

The names of his prurient pets/

But not this one, Buster – /

She uses a duster (!)/

And she never disrobes or sweats..///

She’s the gem of his harem, it’s true/

Always thinking of something that’s

She’s like a machine/

With devices obscene../

But what are those other two ?