The Comic Strip That Has A Finale Every Day by John "Scully" Scully for November 29, 2021

They’re waving bye bye to Sunday because it’s Monday again. Oh woe!

The Excuses

 After a weekend vacation, the  sergeant got to the military base only to find out that none of his soldiers made it on time. It took 3 hours before they started showing up. By then he was about to explode with rage. He decided to summon each of them to his office and get an explanation.

The first soldier walks in, and the Sergeant asks: “Well, what’s your excuse for showing up so late?”

 "Sorry, sir! I can explain! You see, I was late for the bus and had to hitchhike, no cars stopped, and then suddenly, an old man driving a horse and buggy stops and offers me a ride! Well, you know, I couldn’t refuse the man’s kind gesture, and I got on, only it took forever to get here, and that’s why I was late!"

“Hmmph,” said the surprised Sergeant, “I guess that’s a reasonable explanation.” and he let the soldier go. He called the next soldier in and asked for his excuse.

 "Sorry, sir! I can explain! You see, I was late for the bus and had to hitchhike, then this old woman with a horse and carriage stopped for me…" and the soldier tells him the same story, that he was late because the buggy was so slow. One after another, all the soldiers file in and tell him the exact same story. They all felt too bad to say no, and were late as a consequence.

The last soldier than walks in, and the Sergeant, now quite angry, says: “I suppose you hitch-hiked too?” His voice dripping with sarcasm.

 "Yes sir!"

“And I suppose you also got a ride?”

“Yes sir!”

“And I suppose it was on a horse and buggy?”

“No sir!”

“No???” asked the surprised Sergeant.

“No sir, it was a 2014 Mercedes, sir!”

“Then why the heck were you late??” Shouted the sergeant.

 "We tried to make good time sir," answered the soldier apologetically, “but the road was completely blocked with horses and buggies!”