The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for March 27, 2013

Step right up!

Tune a piano.. Tune a guitar.. YES!! Tuna Salad Sandwich for lunch!

Yes, I’m serious. And quit calling me Surely.

That dude is definitely toast.

Would you care for our special today, we give you a mustard plaster.

Bacon your pardon but lettuce see, your one cute tomato

Ah, a gluten for punishment…

No appointment? We’ll have to sandwich you in somewhere.

That’s crusty of him, especially since we’re spread so thin. We’re in a real jam here.

So many crumby puns already. .As the TV preacher said when he reached into the bread bag: “HEEL”.

On the West Coast and Western Rocky Mountain states, Hellmann’s Mayonaise is called Best Foods Mayonaise.

Hell yes, Mann! This is the Mayo Clinic and we will naise you right up!

I forget, what was the best thing before sliced bread?

“Mayonaise sum ugly wimens werkin here… anyways you slice it”

What a turkey.

I want to know how his glasses stay on. (You guys all have great comments!)

I thought the word was “legs”