The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for June 17, 2021

What would happen to all of us if the zombie virus only affected redheads?

If you don’t like Mom’s rules, you should split.

Wait. That’s not what I meant.

Go ask your Auntie Biotic.

Should say: All my friend’s moms are allowing it.

Yup!

Red Cells Matter

So many questions:

Is she your real mom? Are you adopted? She doesn’t have a flagellum.

You have both cilia and a flagellum? Did “mom” have an affair? Who and where is your father?

Maybe you can see if “mom” will let you get your cilia curled.

Go ahead! You’ll be living under a slide cover for the rest of your life.

next thing you know, she’ll want a cell phone…

It’s a viral Tik-Tok challenge. All the kids are trying it.

Sounds kinky.

Jump in with a bunch of leukocytes? Not such a big deal. Phagocytes — now that’s a different story.

I always told a similar saying to my kids when they were growing up…today, they do their own thing with no regard to what others think or say…I’m so proud! I always told them to be true to themselves!

parenting is the same all over

“Don’t make this about race, Mom…”

So much for his NEXT question…

Just split and get it done.

Guess I’m lucky all my friends never wanted to jump into a pool of white blood cells.

Playing with your flagellum will only get you into trouble. That would be cilium.

So long as you live in my petri dish you will live by my rules.

A one track mind from a single celled organism.

Piercing? Don’t be cilia.

“If all my friends got themselves killed, I’d feel suicidal too.”

Honey, you’re a field and track star. Sperm could then easily outrace you.

Mom pierces through Junior’s dumb attempt at logic.

From an episode of the TV comedy Frasier.

Frederick, Frasier’s son : But all my friends have minibikes.

Lilith, Frasier’s ex-wife : Yes, and if all of your friends decided to enter a Level 4 biohazard area without their environmental containment suits, would you do that too?