The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for July 01, 2021

Same diff to a dog

Well, she’s a bichon.

“Can’t you see it’s a his-and-hers water fountain?”

Here bidet, gone tomorrow…

…and a bidet to you, but first fix the fountain.

Call it what you want. It’s a water fountain to us.

Whatever. It’s still broken. You’re a plumber. Fix it.

Water fountain, bidet … po-TAY-to, po-TAH-to …

Bidet, done that, got the T-shirt…

Well, it’s a water fountain to us…can you fix it or not?

I expect that the majority of Americans don’t know what a bidet is, and many who do know what they are have never seen or used one, which many Europeans find barbaric since they have been using them for a long, long time.

When the Japanese realized how wonderful the concept was, they invented the bidet toilet seat so they be easily installed in their zillions of existing bathrooms.

(We have a European style bidet in the master bathroom and a bidet toilet seat in the main / guest bathroom. The only problem is that we are now very spoiled and miss them whenever we are away from home.)

Bidet, Bidet, Bidet…..That’s all folks.

And i bid you a good bidet

Soooo…I’m curious: do bidets really, er, clean you without TP? I mean, completely clean? Is it worth getting one?

If I get a bidet for the dog, will she quit butt-scooting? The carpet wants to know.

Look, Mister: I don’t care what the French call it – just fix it!

I bought a twin home that had a bidet. I didn’t know what it was without looking it up either but It was quite the conversation piece. I would never spend more to get one but having one did have it’s advantages.

Just how do you use one of those things? If I were to find one instead of toilet paper I wouldn’t know how to use it. Do you have to take pants off???

I wish we had one.

Isn’t a Bidet our 46th President? If so, it is gonna take more than a plumber.

perspective is everything (well, almost)

Live day bidet.

They’re earmuffs.

David Letterman was absolutely ruthless to Dan Quayle. When Danny boy visited France, Dave announced a “Dan Quayle’s Top Ten Complaints About France.” One was “Water fountain in bathroom must be designed for midgets.”

“You should have seen it in here on that hot weekend when I hosted my family reunion. It was like bidetlam!"

I was mildly surprised her husband didn’t have a fire hydrant…..

Hey if that thing had an air dryer that smoked, you could blow smoke up….never mind.

To address some of the questions posed here, with European style bidets, you are supposed to take a swipe or two with TP to remove the bulk of the excrement, then you straddle the bidet (French for "little horse). It has hot and cold water controls so you temper the water to your preference as the water is running down into bowl from around the edges. When you have the temperature right, there is a lever that redirects the water into a powerful, aerated stream coming up like a fountain onto your butt. It rinses your butt so much cleaner than you can get it with TP. When everything is peachy clean, I use a half sheet of paper towel to dry off.

With to Japanese style bidet seat, you push a button, a nozzle extends and shoots a stream of warm water onto your butt. Most also have an “oscillate” button. Many also have a built in blow dryer.

Toilet humor.