Will a parasol save him? I’m not up on my vampire lore, but on some strange recent TV series I did see a vampire jump out of an airplane after he made sure he had an umbrella – not to break his fall, but to deploy after he hit the ground so the sun wouldn’t destroy him (until he had healed enough from his fall to find shelter from the sun).
A man has stopped his expensive SUV on a rural road while a huge flock of sheep crosses. He glances impatiently at his Rolex several times, then gets out to talk to the farmer.
“I bet you one of your sheep that I can tell you exactly how many of them you have.”
The farmer shrugs and says “Sure.”
So the guy whips out a laptop, looks at satellite photos, does a few calculations and says “You have 567 sheep.”
The farmer says “That’s right! Okay, take one of them”. So the man grabs one of the animals and puts it in the back of his vehicle.
Then the farmer says “I bet all my sheep against your SUV that I can tell you what you do for a living.” The man agrees to this.
“You’re a consultant”, says the farmer.
“That’s right, how did you know?”, says the man.
“You showed up here without being asked. You told me something I already knew. And you know nothing about my business. Now give me back my dog.”
There’s a sketch in which the Count has sheep leaping over his bed. When they quit on him, he calls a special service, and a man in a sheep costume fills in.
Sir Davecelot about 1 year ago
Vone Veep, Voo Veep, Vee…
Richard S Russell Premium Member about 1 year ago
I’m going to come back later today to see if anybody’s been able to explain this one.
FreihEitner Premium Member about 1 year ago
The Count meets his match.
Cool Hand Luke Premium Member about 1 year ago
The Count was counting sheep?
Bilan about 1 year ago
This is a baa joke.
DaBump Premium Member about 1 year ago
Sheep: the Count’s Kryptonite.
uniquename about 1 year ago
He probably didn’t count on this happening.
iggyman about 1 year ago
You’ll have that Count!
Chalres about 1 year ago
Will a parasol save him? I’m not up on my vampire lore, but on some strange recent TV series I did see a vampire jump out of an airplane after he made sure he had an umbrella – not to break his fall, but to deploy after he hit the ground so the sun wouldn’t destroy him (until he had healed enough from his fall to find shelter from the sun).
Doug K about 1 year ago
Earlier: "One – one sheep. Two – two sheep. Three – three sheep. Four – four wonderful sheep. Baa ha ha ha ha …
nosirrom about 1 year ago
I’d make a comment but I’m afraid it would be bleated.
backyardcowboy about 1 year ago
Out for the Count.
Jeffin Premium Member about 1 year ago
Just when you fleeced expect it.
jango about 1 year ago
Actually i think he’s in sugar shock after eating a box of Count Chocula
Chris about 1 year ago
got tired of counting sheep huh. :J
[Traveler] Premium Member about 1 year ago
Hope he wakes before daylight
atomicdog about 1 year ago
Ah! Ah! Ah!
Zebrastripes about 1 year ago
The count will need a hearty breakfast upon wakening…may I suggest Count CHOCULA!?
Frank Burns Eats Worms about 1 year ago
Countdown.
a sage about 1 year ago
He fell asleep counting sheep.
ladykat about 1 year ago
The count counted sheep and fell asleep!
RonBerg13 Premium Member about 1 year ago
Ah, good… it only took me a couple of minutes to get this one.
Bruce Pifer Premium Member about 1 year ago
The Count was counting sheep, like he tends to do, and fell asleep.
roboedit about 1 year ago
if you come back later the sun will have caused him to disintegrate
exoremale about 1 year ago
He’s the Count from Sesame Street. Fell asleep from counting sheep.
chillydod about 1 year ago
Count and sheep
RPS11 about 1 year ago
Count Von Count from Sesame St.. Hope he wakes before sunrise!
Nuliajuk about 1 year ago
A man has stopped his expensive SUV on a rural road while a huge flock of sheep crosses. He glances impatiently at his Rolex several times, then gets out to talk to the farmer.
“I bet you one of your sheep that I can tell you exactly how many of them you have.”
The farmer shrugs and says “Sure.”
So the guy whips out a laptop, looks at satellite photos, does a few calculations and says “You have 567 sheep.”
The farmer says “That’s right! Okay, take one of them”. So the man grabs one of the animals and puts it in the back of his vehicle.
Then the farmer says “I bet all my sheep against your SUV that I can tell you what you do for a living.” The man agrees to this.
“You’re a consultant”, says the farmer.
“That’s right, how did you know?”, says the man.
“You showed up here without being asked. You told me something I already knew. And you know nothing about my business. Now give me back my dog.”
zeexenon about 1 year ago
The Count should count those fictitious dark matter thingies’, fast before the sun is up.
Baucuva about 1 year ago
He’s down for the Count!
TheWildSow about 1 year ago
Who’s your favorite vampire?
Oh…I dunno…I guess, the one from Sesame Street!
Aw, he doesn’t count!
Oh, I assure you…he does.
dwfordham Premium Member about 1 year ago
The count was counting sheep
Stephen Gilberg about 1 year ago
There’s a sketch in which the Count has sheep leaping over his bed. When they quit on him, he calls a special service, and a man in a sheep costume fills in.
mako887 about 1 year ago
Counting sheep to go to sleep.
SavannahJim Premium Member about 1 year ago
ONE! Ah, ah, yawn. Zzz
Smitty about 1 year ago
For his sake, I hope the Count wakes up before sunup.
bagholder5150 about 1 year ago
Batty Batty Bat Batty Batty Bat Batty Batty one two three count.
Rich Douglas about 1 year ago
You could always count on that guy.