The Elderberries by Corey Pandolph and Phil Frank and Joe Troise for July 03, 2022

Transcript:

Man: Welcome television viewers and sports fans to the "First Annual Seniors' Curling Competition"! Woman: What makes this event so special, Jack? Man: Well, Jane, these seniors don't use the traditional curling stones... in keeping with the holidays, they're using... fruitcakes! Woman: The Elderpark team is on the ice. They look tough to beat! Man: The Idaho Cottontops think they're up to the challenge, Jane! Ludmilla Taykitova, superbly trained in the USSR, makes the first toss for Elderpark. The sweepers move in! Woman: Powerful shot, Jack! Man: First time I've seen a fruitcake penetrate a masonry wall, Jane.