Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for July 12, 1998

Transcript:

the substanceless news our top story: a source says that an investigation of impropriety has begun! cole persons high-ranking sources close to that source say that allegations may include illegality as well. we now go to lisa reilly who has more information and is standing in front a building with columns. a knowledgeable declarant, who spoke on the condition of not being referred to as an anonymous source, said that the charges are all but true! but is this responsible journalism? We questioned our own chipper yards, who broke the story. i interviewed myself thoroughly, but i had too much integrity to reveal the identity of my source. however, a knowledgeable source present at the interview--and with impeccable journalistic credentials--said that the source was credible. there you have it! and now that we have reported this story, we plan to research it as soon as possible. coming up after the break: a tragic plane crash in which no sources survived.