Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for April 01, 2000

Transcript:

the LATEST from MORTY'S DOCTOR Doctor: The clinically diagnosed psychosis or Morty Zimmerman, who inexplicably owns a chain of "stores," has taken a turn for the worse. While the relationship between the items offered for sale in his store and their prices has become wholly arbitrary, it is now doubtful that a transaction of any meaning or value to a consumer could occur at these establishments. Ants Live Under My Tongue CRAZY MORTY Now CRAZIER than Ever! Morty: No Puppets Please! Get it off me! Get it off me, get it off me! Your blood! Someone please open my skull. My intestines are a rope! I climb them to heaven! They're looking at me! I have to make! GA 79 urethra They're putting something in my food! 111 Soon you'll see! Then you'll be sorry! Don't be fooled by the competition!! An Independent Psychiatric Expert: Expert: I have conducted several psychiatric interviews with Luigi "Lew" Renaldi, proprietor of Loony Lew's Electronics and Appliances. I have come to the conclusion that although Loony Lew's does offer quality merchandise for prices that are so low one could doubt Mr. Renaldi's rationality, he is in fact quite sane and in no way could be characterized as "loony."