Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for January 20, 2001

Transcript:

The Education of Louis. Louis: Man, if I get another D in this class, Mom and Dad will kill me! Why am I so stupid? Mom and Dad aren't. And I wasn't stupid in, like, First Grade so I must have gotten stupid. Maybe it was when I got hit in the head by that baseball. That could have stunted my brain's growth. I do have a small head... Maybe it's a worm in my brain, from that time I ate that raw hamburger. And it's slowly eating my neocortex like the alien in that short story in "The Best SciFi of 1998." Maybe it's because I... You-know-what... Or maybe I've really ALWAYS been stupid! I mean, how do I really- Teacher: Mr. Maltby. Louis: Yes? Teacher: Would you care to tell us what diffusion is? Louis: Um, I don't know. Maybe I'm a mutant--my DNA got fried by gamma rays...