Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for February 24, 2001

Transcript:

Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling There was a time when corporations would lay off workers only as an absolute last resort. But this has gradually changed... The History and Future of Layoffs 1961 Boss: I've got to lay you off to avoid bankruptcy. 1971 Boss: I've got to lay you off because we're closing down your unit. 1981 Boss: I've got to lay you off because a merger made you redundant. 1991 Boss: I've got to lay you off to give a short-term boost to our stock price. 2001 Boss: I've got to lay you off because we expect a recession. Given this advancement in the progressively lowered threshold for justifying layoffs, economists predict the reasons that may be given for layoffs in the future... 2011 Boss: I've got to lay you off because I heard a rumor that consumer confidence is down. 2021 Boss: I've got to lay you off because I lost a bet with the C.E.O. of Nerrex. 2031 Boss: I've got to lay you off because I've got gas. 2041 Boss: I've got to lay you off because...I'm not sure...I think I'm drinking decaf. What new, bold, discretionary -- even whimsical -- reasons can we expect for layoffs in the distant future? Time will tell, as progress marches proudly on!