Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for June 30, 2001

Transcript:

Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling Just as you're morally opposed to the execution of mentally retarded criminals, you're also morally opposed to the slaughter of mentally retarded ANIMALS. That's why you only eat... SMART MEAT Man: "Do mentally deficient pigs taste good? You bet! But smart pigs taste almost as good." Woman: "I would never eat the flesh of an animal that could not understand the nature of just how tasty it is. Here's how it works: First, we thoroughly test the intelligence of all our livestock. Expert testimony is then submitted to a jury, which decides on the mental capacity of each animal. Animals judged mentally retarded are humanely sent back to live out their lives in their overcrowded, unsanitary holding pens. While animals judged mentally normal are brought to slaughter, fully cognizant of their fate. NEW X-TRA Smart Meat If you're an x-tra moral person, try our new X-Tra Smart Meat! We butcher only the smartest species! Man: "I'm grilling a bottle-nose dolphin that had a rich life in complex society. With a clean conscience!" Woman: "I'm eating the ground flesh of a chimpanzee that had the sign-language vocabulary of a 3-year-old. Thanks, X-Tra Smart Meat!"