Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for December 27, 2003

Transcript:

Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling President Bush Laid It Out Very Clearly... George W. Bush: Only those who SACRIFICED and RISKED THEIR LIVES will be eligible for IRAQ RECONSTRUCTION CONTRACTS. And so, I award the following contracts: $1.3 billion "Program Management Services - Public Works/ Water Resources Sector" to U.S. Army Sgt. 1st Class Ed Reich Ed: Wow, I get in on some of that war profiteering scratch? Suh-WEET! Party at my place! $2.1 billion "Program Management Services - Oil Sector" to U.S. Army Spc. Jeremy Reyes Jeremy: It's been a helluva year. I'm lucky to be alive. Go an opportunity to price gouge and fraudulently infiltrate costs will be a welcome change of pace. $1.4 billion "Design - Build IDIQ Construction Services for Transportation Projects" to US Army PFC. Benjamin Sutter Benjamin: How will I do it? Simple. Subcontract to the Iraqis -- they're the experts, and they're cheap. I'm buying a mansion on Hilton Head and taking up golf. $1.9 billion "Restore Iraq Oil Services (Southern region)" to Marine Gunnery Sgt. Jed Hensen Jed: Finally, someone deserving will get to lap at the golden nectar of U.S. taxpayer money converted into illicit profit! Dick Cheney: Um...George...psstpsst George W. Bush: Oh, thanks, Dick. Actually, when I said, "Sacrificed and risked their lives," I was referring to U.S DEFENSE CONTRACTING CORPORATIONS. Sorry, fellas.