Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for July 19, 2008

Transcript:

Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling The Great Photoshop War of 2008 The Iranian state media released this photograph of its missile tests, and it was soon discovered that at least some of the missiles pictured were graphic duplications that had been digitally inserted using the computer program Photoshop. The U.S. military was alarmed that Iran had such sophisticated, weaponized Photoshop capabilities, and in a counterstrike, released this picture, photoshopped to increase the number of troops present in Iraq. The digitally simulated troop surge caused a full Iranian retaliation, with a photoshopped picture of massive weaponry. Could America respond to this escalation? America was ready. Highly trained military graphic designers created a montage of such fearsome military might, the Pentagon was certain the Iranians would back down. But to America's horror, Iran released this nightmare: a gigantic version of that Persian guy from the movie "300", striding across the Atlantic to attack our shores! How many innocent American pixels would be destroyed before this monster could be stopped? We were saved by Fox News and its rock-bottom journalistic standards. They patriotically broadcast a report on Mahmoud Ahmadinejad featuring a photoshopped headshot that was so witheringly unflattering, a humiliated Iran could only delete the Photoshop application from its hard drive in defeat. Does Mahmoud Hate America? Where's His U.S. Flag Lapel Pin?