Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for January 03, 2009

Transcript:

Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling Does THIS Scenario Appeal To You? Man: You have a question. Woman: Yes. The one on the left...you're a tramp! Man: AIEE! POACHERS!! Woman: EEE! BLAM BLAM BLAM PING Man: We'll be right back! BLAM IT COULD SAVE THE TIGER AND THE RHINO! The greatest threat to the TIGER'S and RHINOCEROS's survival is not merely their rapidly diminishing habitats, but an insatiable consumer market for their body parts for use in CHINESE FOLK REMEDIES. The Chinese belief that these animals contain powerful medicines has driven the price of their bounties to astronomical levels, ensuring their continued slaughter. If we could convince the Chinese to believe in OTHER folk remedies, we could not only save these endangered species, but perhaps also get rid of some things that WE have an OVERABUNDANCE of, with your help, we'll spread the belief in these "medicines" throughout China, and maybe some vicious profiteers will come to America and do some BENEFICIAL poaching! Ground fibula of daytime talk show host promotes good health. A old phone book a day will keep you regular. Hang the ponytail of a divorce lawyer over your door and have good fortune. Molar of long distance company salesperson is good for longevity. Cigarette butt soup will improve love life (need many, many). Spleen of person who is very slow at ATM machine will reduce static cling. A wise man ingests nuclear waste and has very unusual offspring. The Plan: We will make FORTUNE COOKIES with these carefully devised fortunes planted in them and AIRDROP them across the Chinese landscape. Then we sit back and let the POACHERS do their work! SEND YOUR DONATIONS TO "OPERATION COOKIE DROP" NOW!