Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for January 03, 2009
December 27, 2008
January 10, 2009
Transcript:
Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling Does THIS Scenario Appeal To You? Man: You have a question. Woman: Yes. The one on the left...you're a tramp! Man: AIEE! POACHERS!! Woman: EEE! BLAM BLAM BLAM PING Man: We'll be right back! BLAM IT COULD SAVE THE TIGER AND THE RHINO! The greatest threat to the TIGER'S and RHINOCEROS's survival is not merely their rapidly diminishing habitats, but an insatiable consumer market for their body parts for use in CHINESE FOLK REMEDIES. The Chinese belief that these animals contain powerful medicines has driven the price of their bounties to astronomical levels, ensuring their continued slaughter. If we could convince the Chinese to believe in OTHER folk remedies, we could not only save these endangered species, but perhaps also get rid of some things that WE have an OVERABUNDANCE of, with your help, we'll spread the belief in these "medicines" throughout China, and maybe some vicious profiteers will come to America and do some BENEFICIAL poaching! Ground fibula of daytime talk show host promotes good health. A old phone book a day will keep you regular. Hang the ponytail of a divorce lawyer over your door and have good fortune. Molar of long distance company salesperson is good for longevity. Cigarette butt soup will improve love life (need many, many). Spleen of person who is very slow at ATM machine will reduce static cling. A wise man ingests nuclear waste and has very unusual offspring. The Plan: We will make FORTUNE COOKIES with these carefully devised fortunes planted in them and AIRDROP them across the Chinese landscape. Then we sit back and let the POACHERS do their work! SEND YOUR DONATIONS TO "OPERATION COOKIE DROP" NOW!
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Toronto2 almost 16 years ago
Do we need to actually encase them in cookies, or can we just drop the little papers?
m_ortal almost 16 years ago
Ground kneecap of shopper who goes thru express lane with full cart will provide agility.
Right foot of drunk driver will aid stability.
Ear of driver who talks on cell phone will improve hearing.
Smoked crotch of person who takes two parking places will cure impotence.
m_ortal almost 16 years ago
Index fingers of typist who makes too many comments wil OW! OW! OW!
margueritem almost 16 years ago
Pickled lips of person who talks on cell phone during movie will ensure many passionate kisses.
margueritem almost 16 years ago
Roast haunch of talk show pundit will ensure long life.
wndrwrthg almost 16 years ago
Testicles of man living down the street, dried and ground into powder and used in soup.
Durak Premium Member almost 16 years ago
Man, I dont want to borrow a cook book from any of you! Especially wonderwarthog up above. Where is he going with that?
Richard Howland-Bolton Premium Member almost 16 years ago
m_ortal: …Smoked crotch of person who takes two parking places…
Yeuuuuch!! I think I’d prefer the impotence. Though I must say, my name is richardelguru and I approve of this message—I mean there’ll be marked bays so big you could park a battleship (well apart from the lack of water) and the buggers will miss.
tobybartels almost 16 years ago
Do they have fortune cookies in China yet?
terrencestamp90346 almost 16 years ago
do they have Chinese Restaurants or are they just Restaurants?
adamkuhn almost 16 years ago
Used plastic grocery bags stuffed into underwear improves mood and verility.