Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for February 21, 2009

Transcript:

Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling Did You Know? This week -- The OSCARS 2009 The Academy Awards are the OSCARS of ACADEMY AWARDS SHOWS! More people watch this televised extravaganza, than are ALIVE! Amaze them all with FUN OSCAR FACTS! In order to prepare for his role in milk, SEAN PENN had himself inserted into the uterus of a Long Island Jewish woman for nine months! Close Call! MERYL STREEP'S life was saved when a stray bullet headed for her heart RICOCHETED OFF ONE OF HER OSCARS! In fact, she was wearing a vest made of Oscars. PING Proven Fact: When cartoon characters and Indians peform. THEY AREN'T "ACTING"! Thus, no acting noms for WALL-E or Slumdog Millionaire! Scientists believe that in the Devonian period, Oscars were given to TRILOBITES! Fossilized evidence of Best Supporting Actress, 400,000,000 B.C. Jason Seinheiben, of Dobbs Ferry, NY., is such a devoted filmgoer and Oscarphile, he SAW Best Picture nominee The Reader! MICKEY ROURKE was rewarded with an Oscar nod for his great personal struggle with not being a movie star for years! Robert Downey, Jr. has been found in various beds naked and drugged...BUT NOT DEAD! Sorry, Bobby, but Heath wins this year!